Donald I, emperor of the world.
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icowden
Pharaoh
In other news, we have a new column filed by the Papua New Guinea Courier's New York Correspondent:
The latest from the Papua New Guinea Courier's USA correspondent
Reporting from Washington
Henry Morris
To the United States, which bombs young girls to distract from the systemic abuse of young girls.
Donald Trump’s increasingly deranged behaviour suggests he either knows something we don’t about how the next US election will be counted or he’s got a UTI. He has been administering Operation Epstein Fury for two weeks.
With the Strait of Hormuz interdicted, Russian sanctions being relaxed, and Ayatollah Khomeini’s son installed as Supreme Leader, he has already declared victory – in contrast to his Minister of War, who claimed this week that “This is only the beginning.” When pressed on the dichotomy, the President answered, “What have lesbians got to do with it?” before adding “Oh right. It’s both.”
The administration is flying by the seat of its pants, because, in the long tradition of Caligula, Nicholas II and Charlie Sheen, Trump has surrounded himself with advisors so craven they’d make a Boris Johnson cabinet blush. If you manage to drain the swamp, all that’s left is a stagnant puddle of diabolical sycophants and advisers too fearful to say what the President needs to hear.
Thus, the White House looks increasingly like a prohibited frat house whose hazing rituals include bleach chugging, extrajudicial killing and daring the newest pledge to explain policy on live television.
Pete “I only speak American” Hegseth, Stephen “they lower our test scores” Miller, Jared “valuable waterfront property” Kushner and of course Steven “Putin’s my friend” Witkoff, are a group so dismal you couldn’t trust them to organise a Signal chat without starting an international incident.
Everyone from Shakespeare to Black Sabbath has commented on the distance between the men who start wars, and the people who die in them. But can there ever have been a more pathetic group of slaughter sanctioning chickens than this?
The President himself is so scared of war, his bone spurs flare up next to a draught coming from a door, while Hegseth recently barred photographers from briefings at the Defense Department after they published photos he deemed “unflattering”. The self-designated Secretary of War telling the world he’s that insecure, indicates a gulf of self-awareness so vast it’s incredible it hasn’t been invaded yet.
As if to underline its commitment to the miserable inanity of it all, the White House recently shared a cartoon bowling video celebrating airstrikes on Iran set to Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Nothing says sober calculation quite like Looney Tunes graphics soundtracked by a seven-minute guitar solo.
Watching Zionists, Islamists and Fundamentalist Christians lob missiles at each other is not exactly a ringing endorsement for the monotheistic traditions: three faiths united by a shared heritage, scripture, and enthusiasm for turning the Middle East into a live-fire theological debate.
Still, when US colonels brief twenty-year-olds on preparing for Armageddon, as though the Book of Revelation were a Pentagon white paper, Pete Hegseth offered a nice counterbalance from the Sermon on the Mount: “The only people who should worry are Iranians who think they’re going to live.” A direct quotation, I think, from somewhere between “Blessed are the drone operators” and “Blessed are those who never skip leg day.”
As the season finale of late-stage capitalism hoves into view, don’t complain. There’s a grim inevitability about cultures saturated in patriarchal dominion being led by creatine-addled bros. The Book of Revelation predicted this. It just didn’t expect the Four Horsemen to arrive on golf carts.
Milzy
Senior Member
He was told by a Zionist it was going to happen the liar.
briantrumpet
Timewaster
Yeah, it's bloody immigrants who are the problem.
Pross
Über Member
Patriots keeping the economy afloat whilst those immigrants hoard their money and send it home. America First, U-S-A U-S-A
UglyWithaSidePart
New Member
I'm going to share something pretty personal here.
I lost my Dad to dementia 2 years ago, during the end of his time he thought he was the manager of the care home he was in.
We would ask him questions about it (as advised by care home staff).
Trump has dementia, and it's not funny, but where are the controls preventing him from not only harming himself, but the rest of the world?
What a failure the US is.
I lost my Dad to dementia 2 years ago, during the end of his time he thought he was the manager of the care home he was in.
We would ask him questions about it (as advised by care home staff).
Trump has dementia, and it's not funny, but where are the controls preventing him from not only harming himself, but the rest of the world?
What a failure the US is.
briantrumpet
Timewaster
briantrumpet
Timewaster
...and
https://bsky.app/profile/implausibleblog.bsky.social/post/3mh7cz2t6a22m
His brain is an absolute mush. Future historians are going to look at this and wonder why TF the US looked the other way.
briantrumpet
Timewaster
...and, FMS, this is an uncomfortable watch. Trump can't stop himself blurting out the most painful and personal secret.
https://bsky.app/profile/adamjschwarz.bsky.social/post/3mh6wl7kprk2x
https://bsky.app/profile/adamjschwarz.bsky.social/post/3mh6wl7kprk2x
briantrumpet
Timewaster
OK, enough. Apparently Trump thinks that Gavin Newsom is POTUS. All he does remember are the insults and resentment that everyone else is smarter than him.
https://bsky.app/profile/adamjschwarz.bsky.social/post/3mh7dyuayss2m
https://bsky.app/profile/adamjschwarz.bsky.social/post/3mh7dyuayss2m
Beebo
Legendary Member
The sad thing is that his main attack line for Biden was his cognitive decline. Which we could all see.
And now he’s getting worse.
Stick him
In the Fletcher Memorial Home with all the others.
View: https://youtu.be/zDDzR2zSgsM?si=RtWcZJgy5zEH9G5L
And now he’s getting worse.
Stick him
In the Fletcher Memorial Home with all the others.
View: https://youtu.be/zDDzR2zSgsM?si=RtWcZJgy5zEH9G5L
briantrumpet
Timewaster
"If you don't give us your minerals, we'll kill your children." I guess we're well beyond mob tactics here now.
Pblakeney
Legendary Member
briantrumpet
Timewaster
It's doing its best to lose as many as it can in as short a time as possible.
China will be laughing all the way to the bank. They are playing a long-term blinder, aided and abetted by US Republicans, who seem to be such cowards that they'll let the US go down the shitter to own the libs.
Pross
Über Member
I reckon it will be China that gets shipping running through Hormuz again. It’s in their interest to keep oil flowing but also gives them a display of power on the international stage. The US dropping aid to countries in Africa will also ensure they lose the ‘soft power’ battle there too.
