Light Hearted Insults

[Psamathe]

Often I seem to come across a "amusing" insults, normally lighthearted but I love them so wondered if a thread about those people have come across might be fun.

Often directed at specific people or places but not specific to the "target"

examples
George Osborne, the only person to ever pay full price for a sofa from DFS.

or
Qu: Why wasn't Jesus born in Australia
Ans: They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

Others?

Ian

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

*Looks closely at someone's head*

Yes... Yes, I need to congratulate your surgeons for the way they have skilfully used your hair to hide the scar from the Lobotomy.

 

[briantrumpet]

No-one will out Malcolm Tucker Malcolm Tucker. Utter genius of sweary insults.

https://inews.co.uk/culture/television/malcolm-tucker-insults-98181

 

[Ian H]

No-one will out Malcolm Tucker Malcolm Tucker. Utter genius of sweary insults.

https://inews.co.uk/culture/television/malcolm-tucker-insults-98181

He seems to suffer from a surfeit of asterisks.

 

[briantrumpet]

He seems to suffer from a surfeit of asterisks.

Less fatal than lampreys.

 

[Shortfall]

The three "aspiring male models" alleged to have started fires at properties and vehicles previously owned by Keir Starmer. Putting the arse into arson as someone quipped.

 

[midlandsgrimpeur]

Best insult was by a teacher towards a kid in class. This lad was a bit of a piss taker, always pushing the boundaries with the teacher. One day the lad comes in showing off his new leather jacket, which was not the best quality garment. The teacher quips "nice jacket Martin, do they make it in leather too". Never seen him shut up so fast!

 

[PurplePenguin]

If you were Pavlov's dog, he would be an unknown man.