Starmer's vision quest

Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.
Dorset Boy

Dorset Boy

Active Member
AndyRM said:
I see.

So you're happy to profit by acquiring property and renting it out?
Click to expand...

What's the issue?
 
CXRAndy

CXRAndy

Pharaoh
Tony Blair was in the nest with epstein, having meeting with him at no10.

Oh no, obviously guilty, by association. Did he send him a Christmas card ?
 
briantrumpet

briantrumpet

Squire
It does seem like they haven't quite thought this strategy through... but that should come as no surprise, given their record on policy announcements to date.

1760286224804.png
 
icowden

icowden

Shaman
THIS JUST IN!
ges%2F7b8f11a6-1ba4-4f04-947d-c5337330f4b9_976x549.jpg

Starmer's Sharm-El-Sheikh Summit Diary:
https://substack.com/home/post/p-176051481
Dear Diary,

The resort is all “City of Peace” banners flapping ironically in the breeze, like Blackpool in a heatwave but without the neglected underclass.
Phase One’s done – hostages swapped like Panini football stickers, 20 Israelis for 1700 Palestinian detainees. Not entirely sure what the difference between a hostage and a person detained without charge is, but I’m sure someone on TalkTV would be happy to shout it at me.
Click to expand...
TBH (to be honest) I was a bit peeved I was missing Mrs Thatcher’s centenary. She gets a lot of bad press, but I’ve really admired her ever since I realised I needed to to win over middle-England, which was shortly after I’d won over the Labour members by promising to renationalise everything she’d privatised. Morgan’s advice for talking about her and Donald are the same: ‘big them up as much as you like, just don’t mention miners.’
He made me wear a patriotic tie again. He said it screams “I’m British, don’t you dare offer me hummus”, which was annoying because I really like hummus, but I understood why he did it. If potential Reform voters knew I liked chickpeas and tahini, we’d end up with a ruling party willing to dehumanise refugees for short-term political ambition quicker than you can say ‘Shabana Mahmood.’
Trump and el-Sisi were co-chairing, Abbas was lurking like a forgotten uncle at a bar mitzvah, Bibi stayed at home to polish his warheads. Tony Blair made a brief cameo, but only after I said ‘Candyman’ into a mirror five times.
Morgan had told me to answer ‘two-state solution’ to anything I was asked, which went well until I got distracted by the crab claws on the buffet and I said it to a Fox News journalist who’d just asked me how I was going to rescue London from the clutches Sharia Law.
The easiest part of the day was my tribute to Donald. He’d pre-scripted what I had to say in exchange for a very competitive 5% tariff on Marmite.
I knew it was important not to upset the US, particularly as they were the ones footing the bill for the fireworks (which isn’t a clumsy metaphor for them arming Israel’s genocide, Diary. I know you’re an inanimate object, but so is Chris Mason and he occasionally bests me.)
Truth be told, I’m knackered. Two years of this mess, and all I’ve got is a nagging sense that F35 parts and ‘Israel’s right to cut off water in Gaza’ are going to get mentioned at St Peter’s Gates.
Got a call from the Daily Express on the flight home asking about my Hamas sympathies. Apparently I’d been overheard saying to President Macron ‘I all I want is Hamas’ at the buffet. I assured them I was talking about hummus, but they said that was scarcely credible considering the tie I was wearing, and they’d be printing their own headlines anyway.
Still. Good news about the Marmite.
Click to expand...
 
  • Sad
Reactions: C R
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Psamathe
Badenoch's (Lack Of) Vision Quest
Replies
369
the snail
Badenoch's vision quest
Replies
47
monkers
4B, or not 4B, that is the question
Replies
13
Milzy
Questioning a problem with MP’s?
Replies
6
Top Bottom