Bazzer
Well-Known Member
False teeth left in a shop makes local news.
Spalding Guardian
Spalding Guardian
Normal Island
- Thread starter theclaud
- Start date
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Fab Foodie
Guru
Hard news, red in tooth and gnaw....
Hitchington
Wokey Dick
- Location
- New York-Paris-Pokemon
Salty seadog
Senior Member
Give me Gordon Brown. I'm thinking that's the best option right now.
winjim
Welcome yourself into the new modern crisis
I know it's an old article but 'sex dildo'?
https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/9...over-sex-toy-condoms-graffiti-somerset-police
https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/9...over-sex-toy-condoms-graffiti-somerset-police
Beebo
Veteran
The photo of the family enjoying their holiday in New York is absolutely priceless.
mudsticks
Squire
Well yeah..
Wouldn't want to get it mixed up with those 'stirring the soup' type of dildos would you..??
It's important to make the distinction 🙄
Hitchington
Wokey Dick
- Location
- New York-Paris-Pokemon
Cock piss Rees-Mogg
Beebo
Veteran
Please can we all take a moment to appreciate the readers comments section, as follows:
The police are working along several possible lines of enquiry as to what has actually occurred here. Initially Detective Bennet of Avon and Somerset Police hypothesised that Mr. Rees Mogg may have been caught in flagrante delicto with an escort who is now blackmailing him and actually placed the offending items there himself as a decoy. Det. Bennet surmised that at least Mr. Rees Mogg is taking the necessary precautions by using condoms, unlike his boss Mr. Johnson, whose name reflects a less cautious approach. Chief Inspector Valentine of Scotland Yard, however, was quick to point out to the eager young rural detective that unlike ‘bigboy’ Johnson, Mr. Rees Mogg has a microscopic needle-penis which would be equivalent to a chipolata in a sleeping bag were he to attempt to use a normal human-sized condom. It is well known that he procreates by the artificial insemination method of using his wife’s eyebrow tweezers to masturbate into an emptied out soluble ibuprofen capsule before inserting this into wife’s vagina. Those of you who may consider this unromantic will be reminded that Mr. Rees Mogg is a staunch Roman Catholic who believes in the purity and sanctity of life and is against the mortal sin of obscene and unnatural sexual acts which have been rumoured to occur between some adults of the opposite or even, heaven forbid, the same sex. Detective Bennet then correctly drew Chief Inspector Valentine’s attention to the fact that the fabulously wealthy Mr. Rees Mogg recently had ‘enhancement’ surgery but was advised by Valentine that all the money in the world could not solve that problem and that even after surgery Mr. Rees Mogg’s appendage was still only just big enough to fit into a hamster condom.
The police are working along several possible lines of enquiry as to what has actually occurred here. Initially Detective Bennet of Avon and Somerset Police hypothesised that Mr. Rees Mogg may have been caught in flagrante delicto with an escort who is now blackmailing him and actually placed the offending items there himself as a decoy. Det. Bennet surmised that at least Mr. Rees Mogg is taking the necessary precautions by using condoms, unlike his boss Mr. Johnson, whose name reflects a less cautious approach. Chief Inspector Valentine of Scotland Yard, however, was quick to point out to the eager young rural detective that unlike ‘bigboy’ Johnson, Mr. Rees Mogg has a microscopic needle-penis which would be equivalent to a chipolata in a sleeping bag were he to attempt to use a normal human-sized condom. It is well known that he procreates by the artificial insemination method of using his wife’s eyebrow tweezers to masturbate into an emptied out soluble ibuprofen capsule before inserting this into wife’s vagina. Those of you who may consider this unromantic will be reminded that Mr. Rees Mogg is a staunch Roman Catholic who believes in the purity and sanctity of life and is against the mortal sin of obscene and unnatural sexual acts which have been rumoured to occur between some adults of the opposite or even, heaven forbid, the same sex. Detective Bennet then correctly drew Chief Inspector Valentine’s attention to the fact that the fabulously wealthy Mr. Rees Mogg recently had ‘enhancement’ surgery but was advised by Valentine that all the money in the world could not solve that problem and that even after surgery Mr. Rees Mogg’s appendage was still only just big enough to fit into a hamster condom.
Xipe Totec
Something nasty in the woodshed
Watching in open-mouthed amazement as NACA continues its somehow inevitable descent into mind-bogglingy bizarre specialist pornography.
winjim
Welcome yourself into the new modern crisis
I dunno, as far as euphemisms go I think 'stirring the soup' is a pretty good one.
OP
OP
theclaud
Reading around the chip
Presumably to be used in conjunction with Sex Arses.
Ian H
Legendary Member
Do we draw a distinction between Mogg the arse and Mogg's arse?
...actually, can we change the subject, please
winjim
Welcome yourself into the new modern crisis
I heard a report on the radio about a brothel which had a 'sex dungeon' so presumably that's where you'd go to use it.