Reform, and the death of the Tory Party

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classic33

classic33

Missen
briantrumpet said:
Mitch Benn might have a point here...

Mitch Benn
July 9, 2026 at 4:22 PM GMT+2

GUYS - I’ve just realised what Farage is going to do… The thing is he now has NO WAY to proceed which doesn’t humiliate him. If he wins, he is, as Rachel Reeves put it, The Man Who Spent His Summer Arguing With A Bin. If he bails, he’s The Man Who Fled From A Bin. And if he LOSES… So he’s only got one way out, and I’ve just realised what it’s going to be: FAKE ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT. I am NOT KIDDING. First of all, he steals all his moves from the Trump playbook. Second, it gets him out the race on wounded health grounds… He leaves the field a martyred hero… … pledging to resume the fight as soon as he recovers (before buggering off to the USA forever, of course). Third, all jokes at his expense suddenly become Very Poor Taste and the ridicule he’s suffering ends. Fourthly, it retroactively justifies his “I needed those millions for security” claim. SPREAD THIS AROUND; the only thing that will stop him trying this is if he knows we’ve all seen it coming. Farage is going to stage his own failed assassination. Spread the word.
Click to expand...
Attempted assassination wouldn't get him out of the election. There's the election timetable that has to be adhered to. He has until the close of nominations, on the last day of nominations to withdraw.
If he dies in an assassination attempt, the process is stopped, allowing the party(ies) time to nominate another candidate. Then the process starts again. Withdrawing on health grounds after the close of nominations isn't possible, and the election goes ahead.

Count Binface, if he stands for no recognised political party, stands a better chance of being elected if he won the election dead. He may win the election, but second placed would be elected to the seat.
 
Cirrus

Cirrus

Well-Known Member
briantrumpet said:
Mitch Benn might have a point here...

Mitch Benn
July 9, 2026 at 4:22 PM GMT+2

GUYS - I’ve just realised what Farage is going to do… The thing is he now has NO WAY to proceed which doesn’t humiliate him. If he wins, he is, as Rachel Reeves put it, The Man Who Spent His Summer Arguing With A Bin. If he bails, he’s The Man Who Fled From A Bin. And if he LOSES… So he’s only got one way out, and I’ve just realised what it’s going to be: FAKE ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT. I am NOT KIDDING. First of all, he steals all his moves from the Trump playbook. Second, it gets him out the race on wounded health grounds… He leaves the field a martyred hero… … pledging to resume the fight as soon as he recovers (before buggering off to the USA forever, of course). Third, all jokes at his expense suddenly become Very Poor Taste and the ridicule he’s suffering ends. Fourthly, it retroactively justifies his “I needed those millions for security” claim. SPREAD THIS AROUND; the only thing that will stop him trying this is if he knows we’ve all seen it coming. Farage is going to stage his own failed assassination. Spread the word.
Click to expand...

Hope ther aim is true… obvs
 
OP
OP
briantrumpet

briantrumpet

Timewaster
AuroraSaab said:
A completely unnecessary by-election where the main parties refuse to stand and the candidates read like a one off of Celebrity Bake Off: Farage, Piers Corbyn, Lawrence Fox, and a bin. Makes you proud to be British.
Click to expand...

Rather bizarrely, I don't think it does the UK's reputation any harm. If there's one thing a nation should never be without, it's a sense of humour about its own institutions. The US has always taken its Constitution and government as if it was something perfect and unquestionable, and look where it's got them. Someone should have pointed out that having lots of constitutional amendments does not suggest it was ever anything other than a Word document that no-one really knows what the final version is, or where they filed it.
 
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Beebo

Beebo

Legendary Member
briantrumpet said:
Mitch Benn might have a point here...

Mitch Benn
July 9, 2026 at 4:22 PM GMT+2

GUYS - I’ve just realised what Farage is going to do… The thing is he now has NO WAY to proceed which doesn’t humiliate him. If he wins, he is, as Rachel Reeves put it, The Man Who Spent His Summer Arguing With A Bin. If he bails, he’s The Man Who Fled From A Bin. And if he LOSES… So he’s only got one way out, and I’ve just realised what it’s going to be: FAKE ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT. I am NOT KIDDING. First of all, he steals all his moves from the Trump playbook. Second, it gets him out the race on wounded health grounds… He leaves the field a martyred hero… … pledging to resume the fight as soon as he recovers (before buggering off to the USA forever, of course). Third, all jokes at his expense suddenly become Very Poor Taste and the ridicule he’s suffering ends. Fourthly, it retroactively justifies his “I needed those millions for security” claim. SPREAD THIS AROUND; the only thing that will stop him trying this is if he knows we’ve all seen it coming. Farage is going to stage his own failed assassination. Spread the word.
Click to expand...

We don’t have the same gun culture. So it would have to be a knife attack and that’s harder to fake.

Maybe a diy pipe bomb found under his car?
 
secretsqirrel

secretsqirrel

spiteful class warrior
Beebo said:
Another clown, 21 year old Kai Stephens is looking to take away a few of Farage’s votes.

British Democrats seem to be a BNP offshoot.


https://www.edp24.co.uk/news/26267288.norwich-man-stands-farage-binface-clacton/
Click to expand...

Its going to be an interesting summer.

:popcorn:
 
Pinno718

Pinno718

Legendary Member
Last edited:
classic33

classic33

Missen
Pinno718 said:
We hope a band of eclectic morons stand for the helluvit and split the vote all over the shot.
Perhaps Lord Sutch can team up with bin face to create the Screaming Loony bin party.
Ich bin eine bin liner.




I'll get my coat.
Click to expand...
Screaming Lord Sutch has been dead a few years now. The candidates need to be alive at the time of their nomination.
There's the legal requirement for their signature(wet ink) to be on the paperwork handed over for their nomination.
 
Pinno718

Pinno718

Legendary Member
classic33 said:
Screaming Lord Sutch has been dead a few years now. The candidates need to be alive at the time of their nomination.
There's the legal requirement for their signature(wet ink) to be on the paperwork handed over for their nomination.
Click to expand...

But the party is still going.
Is the bin alive?

Pity:

Count Binface has ruled out a pact with the Official Monster Raving Loony Party as he attempts to unseat Nigel Farage at the Clacton by-election.
“The fact is, the Loonies and Farage want to fight among themselves for the novelty vote.”
 
A

AuroraSaab

Pharaoh
briantrumpet said:
Rather bizarrely, I don't think it does the UK's reputation any harm. If there's one thing a nation should never be without, it's a sense of humour about its own institutions.
Click to expand...

Apart from the waste of money and pointless administrative palaver I think it sounds fantastically, hilariously British. Especially the other parties standing down to wind up Farage. If one of the candidates doesn't have mad hair or wear a bow tie I'm going to be very disappointed. If we win the World Cup I think Count Binface should welcome the team home via Brighton pier, as they disembark from that ship they should have called Boaty McBoatface.
 
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