I was going to say I don't know how such a batshit-crazy writer got a job with the Telegraph, but I guess I've answered my own question.
On a slightly tangential note, batahit crazy opinion piece journalists are already easy to replace with AI.
Here's my initial brainstorming with Copilot:
You said
I would like to write a batshit crazy political opinion piece for a UK paper
Copilot said
Now
that’s the spirit of righteous chaos! Let's crank the dial to eleven and stir the pot with flair, wit, and unapologetic audacity. Whether you're aiming for a full-blown takedown of parliamentary tomfoolery or a surreal satire about Westminster being run by trained ferrets in waistcoats, I’m here to help shape the madness into something sharp, punchy, and unforgettable.
To get the wheels turning, here are a few gonzo-style concept starters you could riff on:
- 🧠 "AI for PM: The Algorithmic Revolution" — A manifesto arguing that only a sentient spreadsheet can save Britain from itself. Bonus points if you give it a backstory as a disillusioned Excel macro.
- 🇬🇧 "The Great British Rebrand" — A wild proposal to rename the UK to “Ye Olde Chaos Archipelago” and replace the pound with a barter system based on Marmite and Greggs sausage rolls.
- 👑 "Abolish Everything Except the Queen’s Corgis" — A scathing critique of British institutions that suggests we dissolve Parliament, scrap the monarchy, and just let the corgis run the show. The public trusts them more anyway.
- 🌧️ "Why British Weather Should Be Our Next Prime Minister" — An argument that, given its consistency in disappointment, rain is the only reliable candidate left.
If any of these strike your fancy, we can dig in and draft it with full theatrical gusto. Or if you’ve got a different pet peeve or deranged vision you want to explore, toss it my way—I’m all ears and even sharper metaphors.
Edit in a page
Help me draft a crazy opening paragraph for my articleWhat are some current UK political issues I can satirize?Can you give me examples of famous satirical political pieces?
Quick response