I won't be around so I don't really care what happens to me. I'll leave it up to my family, as they might care, but my only stipulation will be no religion.
This.
My own experience of family funerals started with my Dad. He, like some here, had made stipuations that money should not be wasted on fripperies. So cheapest casket, no flowers, no religious ceremony, no guests. I remember it feeling very bleak. To be fair, I was only 14 at the time.
My grandma's funeral had similar stipulations but it was in a brighter crematorium and I chose the music for the very brief service. An auntie wanted to deliver a eulogy, so the service was very quiet (when you die at 103, there aren't a lot of people left to invite).
In contrast, when I was first dating my wife we went on a little mini holiday around Devon and Somerset. As we were in the area, my best friend invited my over to stay the night. When we got there, a massive party was in full swing with everyone laughing, chatting, dancing and drinking copiously. He ushered us in and offered us some drinks. I asked what the party was for. "Oh - it's my grandad's wake!".
So I take the view that funerals are for the living, not for the deceased as we aren't around to be bothered by them, and to that end, I much prefer the "bloody good knees up" approach rather than the maudlin traditional English approach.
