You don't leave your family behind with persecution and certain death
I'll explain this to you yet again.
Imagine your family. Grandad, Grandma both in their 70s. You - aged 45, your wife aged 42, your three kids, tom aged 9, wilma aged 14 and harry aged 19.
You can get together enough money in cash for
one member of your family to travel and seek asylum in another country, knowing that once you have one member of your family there, you can start to arrange for safer routes of travel for the rest of your family to join them.
You need the person most likely to be able to earn money. You also need to ensure that you can protect your family in the interim.
You know that the route to seek asylum will be arduous and that many people die.
You cannot send your parents, they will both die. They are not fit or well enough to travel with people smugglers.
You cannot send your wife, she will likely be raped. Same goes for 14 year old daughter.
Your younger son is too young.
So who do you send - your older son, or yourself? If you send yourself, your family income will be halved your younger children and wife will be left unprotected.
So the only sensible choice is to send your 19 year old son. He is the fittest and strongest. Once he has found somewhere safe and has employment then you can start to move the rest of your family.