Cut parents benefits over school truancy

[AuroraSaab]

Part of it is the raising of the school leaving age to 16. Kids get more disaffected with school as they age so leaving at 14 meant many never quite got to the school refuser stage. Another is that much more effort is made on attendance now.

There have always been non attenders but in the past they slipped through the net. It's a big deal for Ofsted and school ratings now though. I remember kids at my high school who never did a full week and others who stopped attending altogether at 15/16. Only half hearted attempts to chase them up were made whereas now many schools will have their own Educational Welfare Officer rather than one bod doing 3 or 4 schools.

Yes, parents do have ultimate responsibility but there are loads of reasons why kids don't attend. Feckless parenting is one reason among many and even that is not necessarily confined to the disadvantaged and working class.

 

[Milzy]

I'm not sure it's just people with special needs and addictions that are responsible for truanting kids, where I grew up it was just generally acceptable that the kids could wag school cos the parents didn't give a sh*t, can't recall any of my mates parents being addicts or 'special' they were just typical council estate scumbags.

Thankfully for me (although I couldn't see it at the time) my mom and dad both worked and I just wasn't 'allowed' to bunk off, same with my kids.

Council estate scum bags are always going to be there in our society. The state fails many who wouldn’t be a lost cause with the right guidance. Some will just choose not to be helped.

 

[BoldonLad]

A lot of talk about Council Estates and Scum Bags.

Just about everyone I know was brought up on a Council Estate.

 

[Deleted member 28]

A lot of talk about Council Estates and Scum Bags.

Just about everyone I know was brought up on a Council Estate.

Me too and plenty of people around me were and still are scumbags, your point?

If I had said "all people bought up on council estates are scumbags" I would expect some recourse but I didn't.

 

[Deleted member 28]

Council estate scum bags are always going to be there in our society. The state fails many who wouldn’t be a lost cause with the right guidance. Some will just choose not to be helped.

Again, what is this guidance you speak of?

The guidance I had was off my parents/grandparents so why is it that if someone is a 'wrong 'un' it's the 'state' that's failed them or someone else's fault?

 

[BoldonLad]

Me too and plenty of people around me were and still are scumbags, your point?

If I had said "all people bought up on council estates are scumbags" I would expect some recourse but I didn't.

Wasn't disagreeing with you, if I was referring directly to your post(s) I would have quoted them.

I suspect we may have had similar 'growing up' life experiences, although, I am possibly old enough to be your Dad (that is not staking a claim by the way)

I encountered my. share of scum bags.

I still encounter scum bags on a daily basis, although, I have not actually lived on a council estate for 56 years.

 

[icowden]

The guidance I had was off my parents/grandparents so why is it that if someone is a 'wrong 'un' it's the 'state' that's failed them or someone else's fault?

Because not all parents / grandparents are capable of parenting. When this happens, the state is supposed to step in and make sure that the child has a chance. To stop the daily beatings, the exposure to drugs, alcohol and or violence. The idea is that we help children trapped in families that are unable to raise them properly thus preventing them from continuing the family tradition.

 

[Deleted member 28]

I have not actually lived on a council estate for 56 years.

I managed to 'break away ' aged 20 so around 37 yrs for me.

 

[Deleted member 28]

Because not all parents / grandparents are capable of parenting. When this happens, the state is supposed to step in and make sure that the child has a chance. To stop the daily beatings, the exposure to drugs, alcohol and or violence. The idea is that we help children trapped in families that are unable to raise them properly thus preventing them from continuing the family tradition.

I fully understand your sentiment but when did parents stop taking responsibility?

As previously mentioned when did the good old days of respect and the ability to behave stop and someone else had to teach kids how to behave?

50's, 60's, 80's when?

What changed?

 

[icowden]

I fully understand your sentiment but when did parents stop taking responsibility?
As previously mentioned when did the good old days of respect and the ability to behave stop and someone else had to teach kids how to behave?

They are pretty much a cosy myth. The good old days of "respect" tended to involve beating. We stopped beating kids after discovering that it wasn't terribly good for them. Some parents are not capable of taking responsibility. It's easy to make a baby, much harder to look after one.

 

[Deleted member 28]

It must be a myth then, lots of people believe it though.

I know a midwife quite well and the tails she has to tell certainly reinforces your comment.

Reference beatings, some of my pals at school, mid to late 70's, used to endure some proper beatings off their old man yet they were some of the biggest scallies out so I'm not convinced that rings true.

My Dad never laid a hand on me but somehow made you feel awful when in the wrong and afraid to do it again, can't really explain to this day.

Biggest threat was him telling my Grandad if I'd been bad because I was pretty close to him.

Funny thing is he was real strict on my dad, different times I guess.

 

[qigong chimp]

I fully understand your sentiment but when did parents stop taking responsibility?

As previously mentioned when did the good old days of respect and the ability to behave stop and someone else had to teach kids how to behave?

50's, 60's, 80's when?

What changed?

Jumpers for goalposts. Midwives cycling to church. Adelstrop. Nimrod.

 

[Milzy]

I fully understand your sentiment but when did parents stop taking responsibility?

As previously mentioned when did the good old days of respect and the ability to behave stop and someone else had to teach kids how to behave?

50's, 60's, 80's when?

What changed?

It’s just a myth they all fell in line out of respect. Some children were so badly beaten & abused they lived in total fear & carried mental scars for the rest of their lives. They were treat like Russian performing bears or worse. Some parents are good souls but are very poorly educated. That’s why so many kids have rotten teeth or bent teeth because they still have Tommy tippy cups when they’re too old for them. And some parents give into their demands for a quiet life which in the long run makes things worse. Child welfare has suffered badly under the Tories.

 

[Deleted member 121]

More people took notice i think from the late 70s onward. People started opening up their lives to others and there was a lot more intrusion. All this stiff upper lip stuff, started to slip. My Nan was a loving soul. But she felt shame when she went outside with my Mom because she had her in her early 40's. What is a women doing having a child in her 40s! In those days social life was different. But it harmed the family. My moms elder sister used to take her out in her pram to the point that others were shocked when they learned that it was her elder sister that pushed her around. Such a shame. My mom, now old herself, still feels that. These days, we don't care and neither should we to a near certain degree. But im not sure things were better or good in them days, just different with a different set of social problems...

 

[mudsticks]

More people took notice i think from the late 70s onward. People started opening up their lives to others and there was a lot more intrusion. All this stiff upper lip stuff, started to slip. My Nan was a loving soul. But she felt shame when she went outside with my Mom because she had her in her early 40's. What is a women doing having a child in her 40s! In those days social life was different. But it harmed the family. My moms elder sister used to take her out in her pram to the point that others were shocked when they learned that it was her elder sister that pushed her around. Such a shame. My mom, now old herself, still feels that. These days, we don't care and neither should we to a near certain degree. But im not sure things were better or good in them days, just different with a different set of social problems...

That's so sad,
What was the 'stigma' around having a kid over 40.?

Supposed to have given up 'marital relations' by then??

Yours is a good example of progress that really has been made since then.
There was plenty of downside to the supposed 'good old days'
Routine abuse - but hidden or just accepted as 'normal'.
Across all sections of society.

And absolute grinding inescapable poverty, accepted as 'normal' for many.

Dangerous dirty, backbreaking work for many , that caused such suffering injury and death, to enrich a few.

Meanwhile , people here routinely calling their fellow humans, ones they used to live alongside 'scumbags'??

Wtaf ?