AuroraSaab
Squire
Some might consider that using them is a sign you agree with the concept of gender identity though. People should be free to use or not use preferred pronouns as they see fit.
Gender again. Sorry!
- Thread starter theclaud
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Some might consider that using them is a sign you agree with the concept of gender identity though. People should be free to use or not use preferred pronouns as they see fit.
AndyRM
Elder Goth
They might. They might not. That's up to the people involved.
Preferred pronouns aren't a right, but using them isn't difficult or somehow impinging on anyone's.
But, for me, if someone has asked you to use a specific pronoun, and you don't? That's not cool.
monkers
Legendary Member
Absolutely. And of course we should be free to use the Victorian psychological classifications, we must call each other 'idiots', 'imbeciles', and 'morons'. Society would be much improved if we all just insulted each other at every opportunity.
Oh is 'idiot' disallowed Aurora? Nobody told me. I didn't get that message.
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The Crofted Crest
Active Member
So you'd be quite happy if people referred to you as he, him, they, them or it?
AuroraSaab
Squire
It wouldn't bother me. An alternative would be just to use my name and they/them/their if necessary.
You're feeling back to your usual self I see.
You're feeling back to your usual self I see.
monkers
Legendary Member
No actually.
If we are in the business of inventing each other's pronouns, then I think your's from this point shall be cis TERF idiot Karen / vile thing.
Are we done yet?
AndyRM
Elder Goth
Given your stance on this thread, I'm surprised that you'd be happy being referred to in anything other than the feminine form, but I guess I'm wrong.
AuroraSaab
Squire
You are wrong, Andy. I've been misgendered plenty of times in my life and it's never bothered me. If your sense of self is so dependent on having people always recognise you as your preferred gender, or non binary, then I think that indicates a fragile sense of self that must be exhausting to live with.
'It' would be a bit weird but they/them wouldn't bother me. Nobody owes you validation and it would be daft that people are compelled to incorrectly sex others.
Knock yourself out. I don't require validation from strangers on the Internet so what you call me is neither here nor there.
If you're determined to turn every aspect of this discussion into an opportunity for posts like that we'll clearly never be done.
'It' would be a bit weird but they/them wouldn't bother me. Nobody owes you validation and it would be daft that people are compelled to incorrectly sex others.
Knock yourself out. I don't require validation from strangers on the Internet so what you call me is neither here nor there.
If you're determined to turn every aspect of this discussion into an opportunity for posts like that we'll clearly never be done.
monkers
Legendary Member
There is a difference between us ... intent. I do get misgendered on occasion by strangers who simply make a misjudgement. I guess that happens to you too.
What I don't get is people using the wrong pronouns with intent to cause offence. You intend offence, but then not against all people, just against trans women. It's vile.
AndyRM
Elder Goth
I'm non binary. Neither fragile, nor exhausted.
I'm cool with whatever pronouns, such is my privilege as how I present. I'm not seeking validation either.
You don't get it, and I don't think you ever will.
AuroraSaab
Squire
Nobody is suggesting not using preferred pronouns as a way of deliberately offending someone. Just their name, or they/them is easy enough to get used to using.
icowden
Squire
It might surprise you but I entirely agree with you. I don't really get the whole pronoun thing - it's a bit daft if you ask me. However if someone were to ask me to call them him or her or they or whatever, it's just politeness to try and accommodate them. Where it also gets daft is in reported news stories where complaints start to be issued because someone forgot or doesn't understand. It has to work both ways.
icowden
Squire
No - but it does happen, which is what I think @monkers was getting at.
Sometimes it all seems a bit daft and unnecessary though. For example at my daughter's new workplace / Saturday job they all have pronouns on their badges. She felt it was a bit daft as everyone working there currently uses normal pronouns. I agree. Surely if you want people to use different pronouns then sure - put them on your badge, but if they are normal it all seems a bit over earnest "mustn't upset anyone" etc.
monkers
Legendary Member
A reminder of what you said, and what I replied to.
How can someone misgender you as you have said, if you AuroraSaab do not have a gender identity?
You constantly talk in riddles.
multitool
Pharaoh
This implies that as you reject the notion of gender identity that you would use your freedom to call a person he, regardless of their preferences, stated or otherwise, if you suspected them to be a biological male.
Presumably you'd also object to calling trans man "he".
You later caveat it by saying you would employ the pronoun "they", which seems odd, given your absolutist stance. "They" is either a tacit acceptance of gender ideology, or a safe word to employ if one is not sure of a person's sex. But what if you were sure?
There is an inconsistency here.
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