OP
OP
i don't think he is, i think the 4 charges they have now might have been 20 or more if everyone would stand up and testify against him.
Russel Brand seems to have an situation
- Thread starter dutchguylivingintheuk
- Start date
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Milzy
Über Member
Correct. He’s a cad & a bounder.
AndyRM
Elder Goth
icowden
Epic Member
Now that Brand's court case has started, Henry Morris has the inside line:
Oct 16, 2026
Monday
Arose early, having slept poorly on account of the persecution. My dreams are filled with thoughts of Jonah and the Whale.
Arrived at court in a state of overwhelming spiritual preparedness. The innate and ineffable knowledge that I stood at the precipice of an ontological awakening, coursed through me like AdBlue in a 3.2l diesel.
The day was prolonged in length, and with such an excess of time at my disposal, my attention kept being drawn to the bureaucratic malice of the CPS. One enters the courts expecting justice but instead encounters a great multitude of people who have instead read the evidence packs.
Scripture, as ever, is my salvation.
Matthew 19:24 as newly revealed unto me:
“For it hath been writ, it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of needle, than for a high-profile media personality to enter HMP Belmarsh.”
Tuesday
Upon spending the morning listening to people describing ghastly things I am purported to have done, my redeemer filled me with the holy spirit and I instead found solace in contemplating the great Jonah, who was swallowed by a fish of gargantuan magnitude and emerged three days later with a great sense of purpose. A man who can transubstantiate the humiliating indignities of involuntary confinement into a profoundly redemptive theological happening, is a man after my own heart. Prison is merely a state of mind, and the locked door an invitation to contemplate the limitless architecture of the soul. That said, Jonah had the advantage of knowing, with reasonable certainty, he was inside a fish. I am in Court Room Three.
Wednesday
The air in court is thick and stagnant, much like the gastric juices inside of Jonah’s leviathan. The prosecution, a latter-day Sanhedrin, are petrified of anyone who speaks with true authority; they believe they are digesting my reputation but fail to see this is merely an incubation before I am vomited safely onto the shores of vindication.
Thursday
Despite all, they persist with talking in a most loquacious manner about earthly trifles such as dates, places and statements, which while allegedly central to their case, bear little relation to the eternal struggle betwixt good and evil.
They ask, “Where might you have been on the night of the 17th?’ when really, they mean “How may we be saved?”
Upon informing the judge that my thoughts were fixed firmly on this metaphysical horizon, the judge invited me to return to the most recent question. As anticipated, upon returning to it, I found no illumination there.
Friday
As the machinery of justice grinds the souls of the pure into the gristle of enlightenment, today, I could no longer resist the temptation to explain God’s plan to those who had assembled merely to discuss what had happened on a particular afternoon.
“Sirs and ladyfolk of the jury. Judges and to whom so else it may concern, the Sabbath encroaches, and yet the Sanhedrin knows no rest. Yon G4S guards look at me with the eyes of Roman centurions, but I see their secret yearning for a Shepherd. I offered to bless your Flavia coffee machine, yet I am met only with the administrative hostility of contempt of court. Yes, we are here to discuss the allegations of a plethora of victims who have all come forward independently with similar complaints about similar patterns of malfeasant behaviour. But I ask you which is more likely: that I engaged in the malodorous and wicked practices which the CPS has seen fit to make one of 1 per cent of cases it manages to get to trial? Or that a conspiracy of great vexation orchestrated by Beelzebub, Mammon, and the other one, has possessed these victims and made them baselessly accuse me of doing wicked things that I spent the noughties ironically publicly alluding to? I do not answer the questions being put to me because I am guilty, but because I am a spiritual vessel and a vessel has no history, only volume. You ask me to recall dates and actions, but memory is an earthly manacle, and I am already a citizen of the infinite. If my light is too blinding for those of you who now complain, is it also the sun’s fault that the weak eyed require spectacles? Was not Jonah permitted to leave his place of condemnation without first being asked to account for his movements?”
It was at this point that the case for the defence collapsed.
Confessions of a contemporary prophet
Being extracts from the private journal of the man who mistook a dock for a pulpit
Henry MorrisOct 16, 2026
Monday
Arose early, having slept poorly on account of the persecution. My dreams are filled with thoughts of Jonah and the Whale.
Arrived at court in a state of overwhelming spiritual preparedness. The innate and ineffable knowledge that I stood at the precipice of an ontological awakening, coursed through me like AdBlue in a 3.2l diesel.
The day was prolonged in length, and with such an excess of time at my disposal, my attention kept being drawn to the bureaucratic malice of the CPS. One enters the courts expecting justice but instead encounters a great multitude of people who have instead read the evidence packs.
Scripture, as ever, is my salvation.
Matthew 19:24 as newly revealed unto me:
“For it hath been writ, it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of needle, than for a high-profile media personality to enter HMP Belmarsh.”
Tuesday
Upon spending the morning listening to people describing ghastly things I am purported to have done, my redeemer filled me with the holy spirit and I instead found solace in contemplating the great Jonah, who was swallowed by a fish of gargantuan magnitude and emerged three days later with a great sense of purpose. A man who can transubstantiate the humiliating indignities of involuntary confinement into a profoundly redemptive theological happening, is a man after my own heart. Prison is merely a state of mind, and the locked door an invitation to contemplate the limitless architecture of the soul. That said, Jonah had the advantage of knowing, with reasonable certainty, he was inside a fish. I am in Court Room Three.
Wednesday
The air in court is thick and stagnant, much like the gastric juices inside of Jonah’s leviathan. The prosecution, a latter-day Sanhedrin, are petrified of anyone who speaks with true authority; they believe they are digesting my reputation but fail to see this is merely an incubation before I am vomited safely onto the shores of vindication.
Thursday
Despite all, they persist with talking in a most loquacious manner about earthly trifles such as dates, places and statements, which while allegedly central to their case, bear little relation to the eternal struggle betwixt good and evil.
They ask, “Where might you have been on the night of the 17th?’ when really, they mean “How may we be saved?”
Upon informing the judge that my thoughts were fixed firmly on this metaphysical horizon, the judge invited me to return to the most recent question. As anticipated, upon returning to it, I found no illumination there.
Friday
As the machinery of justice grinds the souls of the pure into the gristle of enlightenment, today, I could no longer resist the temptation to explain God’s plan to those who had assembled merely to discuss what had happened on a particular afternoon.
“Sirs and ladyfolk of the jury. Judges and to whom so else it may concern, the Sabbath encroaches, and yet the Sanhedrin knows no rest. Yon G4S guards look at me with the eyes of Roman centurions, but I see their secret yearning for a Shepherd. I offered to bless your Flavia coffee machine, yet I am met only with the administrative hostility of contempt of court. Yes, we are here to discuss the allegations of a plethora of victims who have all come forward independently with similar complaints about similar patterns of malfeasant behaviour. But I ask you which is more likely: that I engaged in the malodorous and wicked practices which the CPS has seen fit to make one of 1 per cent of cases it manages to get to trial? Or that a conspiracy of great vexation orchestrated by Beelzebub, Mammon, and the other one, has possessed these victims and made them baselessly accuse me of doing wicked things that I spent the noughties ironically publicly alluding to? I do not answer the questions being put to me because I am guilty, but because I am a spiritual vessel and a vessel has no history, only volume. You ask me to recall dates and actions, but memory is an earthly manacle, and I am already a citizen of the infinite. If my light is too blinding for those of you who now complain, is it also the sun’s fault that the weak eyed require spectacles? Was not Jonah permitted to leave his place of condemnation without first being asked to account for his movements?”
It was at this point that the case for the defence collapsed.
First Aspect
Squire
Has Lemmy been called as a witness?
OP
OP
hopefully justice will be served at some point at least it seems like they didn't do half work this time but reading some of the testimonies, ome of hi victims have been let down massively i mean assault in radio studio's cant be that nobody noticed.
I also hope he finally gets some real punishment because like i said before like an ell he will try and find ways to escape prosecution. He will probably be suddenly autistic/adhd/etc. or something.(which can be true but doesn't accuse said behavior.)
I also hope he finally gets some real punishment because like i said before like an ell he will try and find ways to escape prosecution. He will probably be suddenly autistic/adhd/etc. or something.(which can be true but doesn't accuse said behavior.)
bobzmyunkle
Guru
He's found the lord hasn't he. Perhaps he could be do with a bit of help to reach the next stage of enlightenment. Innocent until proven guilty obviously.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skoptsy
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skoptsy
matticus
Legendary Member
A very outdated concept, I'm afraid!
Psamathe
Squire
... until next week when I'm sure he'll find something else.
OP
OP
Alltough i fully agree with innocent until proven guilty i personally don't belief he is innocent. But i'm not a court, judge or in any way or shape associated with the legal procecution process so my opinion has no influence on the outcome.
I also don't beleive he actually found god i believe it's an decoy in line with his eel behavior.
First Aspect
Squire
Is it possible he read that Mary was a virgin?
Psamathe
Squire
Or has just seen what (some) Catholic priests have (allegedly) got away with ...
AuroraSaab
Epic Member
The religion bit will come to the fore if he's found guilty ie 'He's a changed man, m'lud, a decent, family man...', which is fine obviously but irrelevant to offending. I haven't been following the trial but from the bit I read this morning it doesn't look good for him. Even the people who were his friends seemed to characterise him as an aggressively sex obsessed lothario, at the time of the offences anyway.
